[For a dear friend.]
i thought of you while
driving south on the expressway
when i turned on my high beams
cause it was raining
and it was dark and, well…
i have astigmatism
sorry. what i'm trying to say is.
i was thinking of you sitting.
across from me.
when we decided to have gyros.
across the street from the mall.
and you crossed your arms. across your chest.
doing that funny thing you do.
holding yourself when you laugh.
and then when i reached across the table to briefly touch your hand
when you told me your brother died.
i guess i think of you. sometimes.
and by sometimes i mean. frequently.
and by that I mean. everyday?
usually in the morning.
specifically at 10:37am.
that's when my neighbors jog past my house. everyday.
they're a couple. married i mean.
they both wear these hideous neon green trainers.
that’s when you run through my mind.
but we’re not a couple. that’s not what…
bad joke. whatever. look.
i always want to impress you.
because you know trivia and books.
you know history. dates and facts. kings and queens.
and i. well… i like drag queens. oh i like books too! and shoes.
you like shoes too i guess. from goodwill. and now we laugh! about that.
you are so cool about it! and i’m afraid.
that most guys are afraid that when i say i love you. they think i want to…
well, you know. but not you. you just want to ride shotgun in the car when it’s time to get eats. and that makes it perfect.
just two guys on the road together.
i think about that. i think about that.
- R.R. Tavárez
*Photo by Jojo Yuen.
